Month: May 2018

The Most Valuable Thing In The World

The Most Valuable Thing In The World

Jason Ivers Appreciation, Attention Leave a comment

What is the most valuable thing in the world, for every single person?  You can trade it (in sufficient quantities) for nearly anything else, but can’t get it back once it’s spent… Attention.

Attention is your mental effort, and focus, over time.  Do you want money?  You can spend time and effort and receive money in return (often called a “job”).  Want a girlfriend/boyfriend?  Investing time and effort can get you one of those, as well.  House?  Check.  Better relationships?  Check.

You can’t get more of your attention back after it’s gone… the time is gone, and you can’t “unspend” the mental effort spent during that time.  You also have a limited amount of mental effort that you can put forth in a given amount of time.

That makes attention incredibly valuable.  It’s valuable in terms of both human value and monetary value… after all, you can’t sell someone something without having their attention.

People intuitively understand how valuable someone’s attention is… that’s why we value “active” company more than passive company, why celebrities and successful businessmen are so often fond of people who are “real” with them (if you’re not being real with them, you’re not giving THEM your attention, you’re giving your fantasy of them attention, which is essentially the same as giving it to yourself), and why advertisers like to advertise on the most popular things (they’ve already proven effective at getting attention).

The funny thing is, you don’t have to give someone very much of your attention at all to make it a valuable gift/exchange.  Just taking 5 seconds to actually meet someone’s eyes and convey that you really are thankful when you say thank you is a valued gift… try it and you’ll see the appreciation in the faces of those receiving your attention.  Give your family member your true, undivided attention for an hour and watch how much happier BOTH of you are.

The majority of people are very self focused with their attention… Just think back over your day and see how many people stopped focusing on themselves and gave you their full attention at any time, for any thing.  It’s not that uncommon for most people to be unable to think of a single incident… even when you’re having a one on one conversation with someone, most of the time at least part of their attention resides elsewhere.

When you give someone your full attention, they generally will give you some of their own in return… it’s built into us that this is the way it should work.  This exchange of attention, when repeated, builds up a relationship between you.  More investment of attention will generally improve the relationship over time… remember, though, this is attention on THEM, not a mental fantasy of them from your own mind.  Focus on THEIR needs, desires, likes, etc., not what you think they SHOULD need, want, or like.

Successful relationships (whether romantic, business, sports, or anything else) lead to a successful, happy life… no matter what that means to you.

Take this article, plus the last two (The Need For Silence and Gratitude – Make Yourself Happier), put them into play in your life, and you’ll be a happier person in a very short time.

Gratitude - Make Yourself Happier

Gratitude – Make Yourself Happier

Jason Ivers Appreciation 1 Comment

You know what the main difference between a happy life and a miserable life is?  Gratitude.

Happiness in life boils down to this:  If you are genuinely appreciative/grateful for things, you will be happy.  If you are not appreciative or grateful, your life may look desirable from the outside, but YOU will be miserable.

It’s not only your own happiness determined by your gratitude… it’s the happiness of all of those around you, as well.  If you are genuinely appreciative, it shows, not only in your words, but in your actions.  If you are appreciative of what others do for you, they will be happy to do things for you, meaning their happiness will increase, as well.

So give it a try sometime… pay attention to what others do for you, and realize that they are putting in their own time and effort to do something for you.  They’ll never have that time back, and whatever time they spend on you is time that they can’t spend on their own heart’s desire (unless, of course, what they are doing for you IS their heart’s desire).  If you truly take a moment to consider that, you actually will appreciate that they have done something for you.

Thank them.  Smile genuinely at them.  Meet their eyes.

Make sure you acknowledge the people who show you appreciation… smile back, meet their eyes and genuinely tell them they are welcome.  Wish them a good day as you leave.

You, and those around you, will feel the difference quickly, often in a single day, certainly within a week, and a month can make a lifetime’s worth of difference.

And, in keeping with this post, I genuinely appreciate anyone who takes the time to read this, and appreciate it even more if you comment and let me know, whether on the site, on Facebook (https://www.facebook.com/AMiracleADay) or Twitter (https://twitter.com/AMiracleADay).

I hope I’ve reminded you to take the time and that I’ve added a bit of happiness to your life, and those around you… combine this with a few moments of silence, and you should see a remarkable difference.

The Need For Silence

Jason Ivers Uncategorized Leave a comment

There is, in all of our lives, a common need that often gets overlooked and neglected… a need for silence.

These days there is ALWAYS another source of stimulus, more noise, more stress, more video to watch, news to read, emails, phone calls, etc.  There is input from work, from family, from friends, from the media, from nearly everyone around you.

The human mind, and the body for that matter, is NOT meant to put up with this sort of constant bombardment.  Continuous input from all of these various sources will amp up your stress level, cause your sleep to suffer in both amount and quality, and eventually cause problems with nearly every aspect of your life.

The cure is simple, but sometimes hard to implement.  Every day, you need to take some time without stimulus… without conversation, music, TV, or even books.  Give your mind some time to process all of the junk… it usually works best in the evening, thought it may not feel like it.

When you first start this practice, it will likely feel like you are failing, because your mind is running all over the place (especially when you do it after a full day).  That’s okay, though… the idea isn’t to reach a state of zen meditation (though if you continue the practice every day, you may reach that point eventually), it’s simply to let go, and let all of the chaos from your life wind down a bit.  That lets your brain start to organize, categorize, and otherwise process things.

You can think of it like juggling… all of these sources of input are balls to keep in the air.  It makes it a heck of a lot easier if you put some of them away as you go… it’s a lot easier to juggle ten balls total if you keep putting some away from time to time, and only keep a few going at any given time.

Most of your sources of input aren’t going to make room for you to take the time for silence, so you are going to have to make the time.  Everyone around you will benefit, however, so it’s for their good as well as your own.

Just remember the line from the AMC movie theater chain: