Have you ever had one of those times when it seemed like your entire life was in flux, where almost nothing seemed to be stable, something to hold onto while everything else shifts?  It’s relatively common to have had that experience, although not everyone is required to go through it.

So… why do I bring this up?  Well, you might say it has a little personal relevance for me right now.  My employer is currently trying to sell the piece of their business where I work, other people around me seem to be finding greener pastures (in the employment sense), and things have been a bit chaotic on the home front, as we just had a huge yard sale.  This is in addition to writing for this website, and having recently set an ambitious goal of 500 subscribers by November 20th.

My normal rock among all the shifting sands, my wife, has been busy with getting ready for the yard sale (and cleaning up afterwards).  While I helped, and did most of the heavy lifting, she invested far more time than I, and so hasn’t been as available for me as she normally is.

How does this all tie back to self-development?  Quite well, actually… because it has reinforced for me the need to find a center, a place of peace in the middle of your soul.  This is a place that is isolated from the outside world and all of its influences and distractions, a place where you can go when the rest of the world is too much to handle.

How do you go about finding your center?  Well, it’s a combination of things, including learning how to achieve internal quiet, who you really are, and acceptance of your own freedom and the responsibility that comes with it.  So, here’s a short summary of each of these factors:

1. Achieving Internal Quiet

   This is the starting point for finding your center, as it provides a place from which to pursue the other two pieces.  First, a definition – internal quiet is the point at which the surface of your mind is calm, with all interrupting thoughts and distractions dealt with.  Now, a very quick guide on how to achieve it (I’ve mentioned this in a few previous articles):  Find a spot where you can sit and have aa few minutes of time to yourself.  Make yourself comfortable, and close your eyes.  Let any thought that comes up come, drift across your mind, and go back out.  Let any feelings that come up come without attempt at suppression, observe them, and let them go, too.

   Before too long, though the time it takes varies depending on what the circumstances of your life are at the moment, you should reach a place of internal quiet.  Now you’re ready for the next step.

2. Finding Who You Are

   Finding who you are… this is sort of mislabeling.  It may feel like finding who you are, but in reality what you are doing is peeling back the layers you have pasted over the real you, and admitting who you really are inside.  It’s not so much finding as admitting, although you may have buried some things deep enough that you find yourself surprised that they are still there.

   This is the point where you start taking down some of your internal walls and dealing with things that are not pleasant.  This is by far more easily done when you have reached internal quiet, and know how to do so again, as internal quiet allows you to release the pain that some of your digging and demolition of walls allows back up into your conscious awareness.

3. Accepting Your Freedom (And Responsibility)

   When you are well into the process above, you are likely to start recognizing the fact that anything you don’t like about yourself is your own fault, that it’s both caused and continued by your own choices.  If you have a lot of anger inside, it’s because you are holding on to some old injury.  If you have trouble trusting others, it is no doubt because of something else (or the same thing, I suppose) you are holding inside with your walls.  There are two reactions to this realization that you are who you choose to be… you can deny it and turn away, pretending you are someone you are not, and that others are to blame for who you are, or you can embrace it and realize that since these things you don’t like are a result of your choices, that also means you are free to make different choices and change who you are.

   Either way, once you recognize responsibility for who you are, you can never totally bury that knowledge and understanding again.

Once you have done the things listed above, you should be able to tell a significant difference in your level of internal peace and your ability to deal with external stress.  You’ll have a place inside you that can function as your anchor in a life in flux, something to hold you steady against whatever waves may come.

And it’s a spot, that center of your soul, that no one else can ever take away from you.