There is a really simple, foolproof way to not care what others think.  It’s not difficult, it doesn’t take long, and everyone is capable of doing it.  It only takes one sentence to tell you this amazing secret.

I’m going to go about this all wrong and give you the answer right up front, and hope that you stick around afterwards for the explanation.  It’ll be worth it, I promise.

The foolproof way to not care what others think:  Give up telepathy (mind reading for those of you who don’t know).

“Give up mind reading?” you might say.  “What does that mean?”

Here’s what it means:  You can’t possibly know what other people think, unless you can read minds.  So you can’t worry about what people think… you can only worry about what you think they think.

Even if someone were to tell you what they think, they might very well be deceiving you.  After all, if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all, right?  People are taught from a very early age to misrepresent certain feelings in the name of politeness.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing… if no one were polite, it’s likely there would be a lot more violence in this world.

On the other hand, it makes it even less likely that you will ever know what someone is thinking.  When you worry about what other people think, you’re not REALLY worrying about what they think, you are worrying about what you think they think.  You are worry about the shadow of a shadow… their thoughts as a shadow of their feelings and actions, and your thoughts of what they think as a shadow of the real thing.

Then there’s the fact that you can’t really control what other people think, even if you could actually know it.  In spite of your best efforts, others can, and will, misinterpret your words and actions, and think things other than what you want about you.  Ever said something completely innocent like “Nice weather” and had someone decide that it meant something far more, like you were bored and didn’t want to be with them, etc.?  I have… and it just brings home the fact that people will think what they want, adding or subtracting meaning from whatever you say and do.

So now you can’t control their thoughts, and at best can make a semi-educated guess at what they (the thoughts) are anyway (that smile might be for the person they just left, not for you… or the anger could be at something that happened in their childhood, not what you just did), so you’re spending your time and mental energy on something you can’t know or control.  You’re giving it importance in your life by giving it your attention… attention that you could probably find a better place to spend, something that will actually bring you benefit.

There’s no magical way to not care what you think other people think, but maybe now that you think about it, and realize that you don’t really care what others think, but about what you think they think, and that what they DO think isn’t even necessarily a reflection of what you say or do, then maybe it will help you to realize it’s sily and give it up.