Why is forbidden fruit so tempting? Why does forbidding us from having something make us want it more? There are a few reasons, and understanding them can help you to break the appeal of forbidden fruit.
Of course the phrase “forbidden fruit” comes from the story of Adam and Eve. They were told they could have anything they wanted to in the Garden of Eden except the fruit of one specific tree (and there is a common misconception that it was an apple… it never says so, someone just decided to paint it that way at one point, and the image stuck). So, of course, that made them want that specific fruit… but why?
The first reason, and the strongest, is that most people have trouble truly believing that they are free, as in free will. People have a hard time truly accepting the fact that they always have the ability to choose, that no one can take it away from them. Yet, in spite of this, there is something inside them that tells them “Yes, you DO have that ability to choose”. The conflict between these two things, the feeling inside that they do have the ability to choose, but the mental lack of conviction of that same feeling, leads people to want to prove, even just to themselves, that they CAN choose, no matter what anyone says. That is why, when you’re told that you CAN’T do something, your immediate instinct is to go “Yes I can, watch!”. You want to prove to yourself, and likely to the other person, that you are free, and cannot be bound by the rules of others.
The fact is, you are correct, you are free and cannot be bound by the rules of others, but this actually puts MORE responsibility on your shoulders, as it means that you need to set and follow rules yourself… but that another topic, to be addressed in another article.
The second reason, somewhat weaker than the first, that it is tempting is because your mind craves new or unusual experiences. Since you have been forbidden something, that makes you instinctively view it is at least unusual, if not new, even if it was just forbidden now, and you have done it a hundred times in the past. It’s different now that it’s forbidden… now it’s unusual, so your mind craves it. This craving comes from your subconscious, so your conscious mind can overrule it, but it’s still a natural response to being told you can’t do or have something.
The third, and final for this article, reason involves both of the first two. We feel constant pressure to be good, to do the right thing (that’s not a bad thing, by the way). That makes the thing that is forbidden “bad”, which in itself is something we are forbidden to do. That means that we have that natural instinct to not let others make rules for us and the craving for the unusual (for most people, anyway, being bad is unusual) kick in. So we have those reactions to the actual forbidding, and then we have them again to the fact that it is now “bad”. That’s a double (or quadruple, if you want to look at it that way) whammy… no wonder it’s so hard to resist!
So how do you defeat the appeal of forbidden fruit? It’s simple, but that doesn’t mean easy. The way to defeat the appeal of forbidden fruit is to realize that, in reality, there is no such thing. You ARE free to do what you choose, you just have to deal with the consequences of your actions. Once you understand, and gain conviction, that you are truly free to follow your own choices in all things, you realize it is not TRULY forbidden, and it loses its appeal (or at least the added appeal that is BECAUSE it is forbidden).
